I will not fall into the trap of posting nothing but apologies of not posting more. I unapologetically have not updated this blog in three, three and a half years, and I don't care if you care. By 'you' of course, I mean the one person who accidentally stumbled across this and is quickly navigating to something more interesting. I don't blame you, but it won't endear you to me very quickly.

I am currently living on the beach. I teach environmental science to school-aged children, and pretty much have one of the most rewarding jobs in the world, for what it's for. How better to spend a year off than on the beach?

God is teaching me a lot. He has granted me, in spite of how hard I begged Him not to, an opportunity to not even think about romance but to focus instead on my relationship with Him. He has taken me to a dark place where he can heal a lot of neglected heartbreak, and force me to forgive old grudges. It is amazing how much dirt we can pick up in our lives, kind of like we are always walking through sand with wet feet; we pick up more sand with each step. We need to wash the feet off, and then dry them so we stop picking up sand. The washing would be forgiveness, and the drying sanctification. Both are inconvenient when all you want to do is play on the beach.

The new Mute Math album is fantastic. Here is a sample of the wordsmithing.

Oh, why must I work so hard,
Just so I can feel like the nobles ones?
Obligations to my heart are gone,
Superficial lines explain it all.

Sometimes I get tired of pins and needles,
Facades are a fire on the skin.
Oh, I'm growing fond of broken people,
As I see that I am one of them.

Wishlist

I need

money


The quality of my life would be greatly improved if I had

A new computer (I am thinking I should get either a mac or a desktop.)
Some really nifty bookends. My books seem to like falling over




I think it would be sweet, yet unecassary, if I got
A harmonica
A guitar
basically any instrument

Books: Inventing the Future, The Mature Society- Dennis Gabor
TS Elliot



Am I alone in this?
Never a night where I can sleep myself 'til day.
We must try to figure it out, figure it out.
It won't be that easy.
We lost it somehow.

You come over unannounced.
Silence broken by your voice in the dark.
I need you here tonight,
Just like the ocean needs the waves.

Oh, the night becomes the space that's somewhere in between
What I feel and what I'm told.
Sitting on the shoreline trying to figure it out, figure it out.
To find out the meaning
And reach it somehow.

You come over unannounced.
Silence broken by your voice in the dark.
I need you here tonight,
Just like the ocean needs the waves.

Fall around me now,
Like, stars that shine and brighten the way.
I need you here tonight,
Just like this night it needs the rain.

The season has changed.
The wind, it blows colder now.(colder now)
The clouds are raised,
The rain it falls harder now, all around.

You come over unannounced.
Silence broken by your voice in the dark.
I need you here tonight,
Just like the ocean needs the waves.
Fall around me now.(So fall around me now)
Like stars that shine and brighten the way.
I need you here tonight,
Just like this night it needs the rain.(Rain)

(You come)Over unannounced,(Will you come over)
Silence broken by your voice in the dark.
I need you here tonight,
Just like the ocean needs the waves.
Just like the stars that fall around me now.

Ma vie est tres bon maintenant. (knock on wood)

early practice. 5:30 wake up. for some odd reason I woke up on my own at 5:15.

I have been quite busy since the last update. I have been diving a ton. I am legal on both boards with our first meet this saturday. I became very scared of the high board, got over the fear, and learned 6 dives on it in basically two weeks, with three in one day. I now love the high board. I like the dive where you jump forward and do a straight-bodied dive backwards, towards the board. It is so fun to do.
Coach Jim is definitely one of the best diving coaches in the country.

I have taken up learning the Gaelic language. I have a dictionary. Me cad an saonta bithuinach.
Mo cursai gra ata fearr na an seachtain thar. Me gra ans ailleachts beans, agus me gra mo inmhaite ailleacht. Me ta dochasm agam te e sasta tearma, muirneach.
I dropped my 495 physics: black holes and general relativity course. I had fun in it, but it is time to move on. Now I can actually study other things. Good for that.



Do me wrong, do me right,
Tell me lies but hold me tight,
Save your goodbyes for the morning light,
But don’t let me be lonely tonight.

Say goodbye and say hello,
Sure enough good to see you, but it’s time to go,
Don’t say yes but please don’t say no,
I don’t want to be lonely tonight.

Go away then, damn you,
Go on and do as you please,
You ain’t gonna see me gettin’ down on my knees.
I’m undecided, and your heart’s been divided,
You’ve been turning my world upside down.

Do me wrong, do me right (right now baby),
Go on and tell me lies but hold me tight.
Save your goodbyes for the morning light (morning light),
But don’t let me be lonely tonight.
I don’t want to be lonely tonight.
No, no, I don’t want to be lonely tonight.

I don’t want to be lonely tonight.

Proof that I have defeated the universe. 

Weeks seem like years to me

Today I was supposed to sleep until noon at the earliest. It is my birthday (the fabulous 19), and I stayed up late in the basement at a dance party. That's right, we threw a dance party in the basement of our dorm, just because we wanted to. Highschool has nothin' on this.
The dancing was fun. I got in a few swing, a few salsa and various other latin dances, and I got to dance a ballroomesque thing to Speed of Sound, which made me happy.
Last Saturday we stayed out until 5. We went to a hockey game, played some cards, got bored with that so moved on to playing little games like human knot and such. Then we decided it would be smart to go to the local park and hang out there in the gazebo for a while. Doing that we played five fingers (never have I ever), and one of the girls said "never have I ever been skinny dipping," which led to questions of when and where for everyone who lost a finger. One kid said his offense was in lake michigan at 3 am. Someone checked a watch, it was almost three. "Who wants to go swimming in Lake Michigan?" So we went (co-ed, so bathing suits). It was freezing, so that didn't last long, then we went to IHOP.
So I am making lots of friends up here, and they are all pretty cool. Girls are very cool as friends and perhaps something more, the swim team is great.
This past week was the first in diving season. Diving rocks. I am new to the whole "real" diving scene, but I am progressing VERY quickly. I am flying very high, flipping very fast, and not smacking the water too much. The practices are at 5 m-th, 3:30 on f, and 5:30am mtwf mornings. 7am on saturdays, so I get to sleep in then. Lifting is fun, and I am getting way stronger already. Yesterday I did the headstand pushup to handstand for the first time. It made me happy because I have been trying to get that strong for a while.

lyrics.

When I fall in love,
It will be forever,
Or I'll never fall in love.

In a restless world like this is,
Love is ended before it's begun,
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun.

When I give my heart,
It will be completely,
Or I'll never give my heart.

And the moment I can feel that
You feel that way, too,
Is when I'll fall in love with you.

Pics of moi

So this is what I looked like before I came to Hope. I will try to edit this post later to show you readers my lack of hair and my nifty new Chesney hat.

Swimming and Dancing

Today was one of the first initiations into the swim team. We swam the channel connecting Lake Monitackwa (or whatever) to Lake Michigan. We started at one pier, dove in, swam the 50-100 yards across the freezing cold lake with the 2 foot waves, got out and stood on the other pier for a while. While over there we completed a few tradtions and did a cheer, then dove in and swam back. I think I froze my triceps on the way to, and shoulders on the way back.

Tomorrow, bright and early, is the camping trip. I don't know where we are going, but we are camping ON the beach in the wilderness. Sounds like a blast.

Tonight was the first meeting of the swing dance club. It was my first time actually doing swing dance, and I was told I am a natural (*hoorah!*). It is so much fun, I gave myself a blister and sore feet but I learned so much and had a blast. On my FIRST TIME, I learned the pendulum! (girl jumps, swings legs to one side, sits on your hip, repeat on other side, then straddles you, then you throw her up in the air and hold her there, way fun.) Katie: when I get home I will be able to dance with you! And MAYBE outshine you!
Dancing is a good excuse to put your arms around a very pretty girl, which seem to be in no short supply at Hope.
Ok, I have to get up at 7:15 tomorrow, so I will cease talking.

And the hardest part
Was letting go, not taking part
Was the hardest part

And the strangest thing
Was waiting for that bell to ring
It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down
Bittersweet, I could taste in my mouth
Silver lining the cloud
Oh and I
I wish that I could work it out

And the hardest part
Was letting go, not taking part
You really broke my heart

And I tried to s i n g
But I couldn’t think of anything
And that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down
You left the sweetest taste in my mouth
You're a silver lining the clouds
Oh and I
Oh and I
I wonder what it’s all about
I wonder what it’s all about

Everything I know is wrong
Everything I do, it's just comes undone
And everything is torn apart

Oh and it’s the part
That’s the hardest part
Yeah that’s the hardest part
That’s the hardest part