A New Hope

Things are going well up here. I arrived late so we did a rush job of unpacking and such, but it was all good. My roommate wanted to move to Kollens to be near the tennis courts (huge tennis player), so he did that Saturday, so I have my own room for the time being. I am having fun on the "geek floor" (I use that term with endearment because I definitely fit in) of Voorhees (our motto so far? "Guys on top. Daaang."). It is pretty nice on the third floor. AC would be appriciated, but the awsome double bladed fan I found at target is doing a good job of keeping me cool. Sleeping has been rather rough, my ears are ringing every night. I would guess it is because the music here is so loud and constant. We have already had two concerts with another tonite, and the noise is constant. It isn't like rural Ohio where I can go in my backyard at night with only the bugs and animals to listen to. The food was really good but took a noticable downward trend as soon as the parents left and there was no-one left to impress.
I can't count the number of times we have heard about Hope being a dry campus and all of the bad things that will happen to you if you touch alchohol. It is getting kind of ridiculous.
The people here are amazing. We have our obligatory partiers, but that is basically just third floor Durfee and Kollen (pre-frat freshmen and jocks, respectively). I have been hanging out with the guys on my floor as well as a few cool kids from other dorms. We swap music files, play Mario Kart, eat and the like. The atmosphere is so weird. You can tell the guys and girls here who are expecting to find thier lifelong love, and who think they can find them before classes start tomorrow. Silly people. There are SO many more girls than guys up here. 60% 40%. I know that doesn't sound like that much, but it is really noticable. Everyone is so nice too, and we can talk about really personal issues really easily.
I just went to an info session on the swimming/ diving team, and I want to do it so bad, it is such a great team with a legend of a coach. I am trying not to overcommit...
Classes start tomorrow, and I am very excited about that. I have 17 credit hours right now, and if I can find a way to drop one that would be nice. 16 is what I want. My freshman seminar is going to be really fun, no homework except to make a documentary, in class is just discussion of newspaper fronts, and 30 hours of community service. Community service in the campus radio station, campus paper, or campus tv station. I am so excited for that. I had an audition today for jazz combo, and I think that went really well. The professor at first had me adding jazz ensembles until I was up to 18 credits, but that is WAY too much. I now have jazz piano lessons, a jazz combo, as well as music theory and its labs. Then I have multivariable calculus and my physics class, Black Holes and General Relativity. This one gets me REALLY excited. I also got a job today. 2.5 hours a week TAing with an algeabra based physics lab, 4 hours a week doing nuclear physics research. I love my life. I don't have free time but I love it.

My song is love
Love to the lovely song
And it goes on
You don't have to be alone
Your heavy heart
Is made of stone
And it's so hard to see you clearly
You don't have to be on your own
You don't have to be on your own

And I'm not gonna take it back
And I'm not gonna say I don't mean that
You're the target that I'm aiming at
Take my message home

My song is love
My song is love, unknown
But I'm on fire for you, clearly
You don't have to be alone
You don't have to be on your own

And I'm not gonna take it back
Oh I'm not gonna say I don't mean that
You're the target that I'm aiming at
And I'm nothing on my own
Got to get that message home

And I'm not gonna stand and wait
Not gonna be there until it's much too late
On a platform I'm gonna stand and say
That I'm nothing on my own
And I love you, please come home

My song is love, is love unknown
And I've got to get that message home

Two days

Kim came over today in the middle of all the packing. We had a wondrful time and when she tried to leave she cried. I wasn't all that broken up at the time, but now I am. Nick left today, and I worked on the song from yesterday and I need to show it to him, but I can't. Ray leaves tomorrow. Joe left last Friday. I leave this Friday. Kim and I talked about John for a long time. (I think I made you a friend John. A female one nonetheless. You owe me something.)

The gang is breaking up. My freinds are leaving me and I am leaving them.

The chords are all for one full measure unless otherwise specified.
Blogger doesn't like a lot of spaces like word does.

Leaving.

Slow mournful verse

A- G
They say I must part ways
A- G

To leave everyone behind
D- C

Start new and the better days
D- C

move on with my life
E- F

meet new people

E- F

Forget the old

A- G

I can almost believe their fantasy
F C

But I can't leave you

Chorus

A- G

Slit my throat, I will keep on breathing
E- F

Hold Death at bay by the power of my love for you
A- G

I don't care if I should leave

E- F

and find someone new
D- C

I refuse to give up what we have,

A- G

I refuse to give up what we've had,

E- F G7sus

I refuse to give up what will be.
C||| C|||

You mean to much to me

A-||| G|||

E-||| F|| G

A-||| G|||

E-||| F|| G

D-||| C|||

A-||| G|||

E-||| F|||

G7sus||| ||||

A- G
And They say you must part ways
A- G

To leave me behind
D- C

Start new and the better days
D- C

move on with your life
E- F

meet new people

E- F

Forget the old

A- G

You can almost believe their fantasy
F C

But I can't let you

Chorus again


A- G

Slit my throat, I will keep on breathing
E- F G A-

Hold Death at bay by the power of my love for you
A- G

I don't care if I should leave

E- F

and find someone new
D- C

I refuse to give up what we have,

A- G

I refuse to give up what we've had,

E- F G7sus

I refuse to give up what will be.
C

You mean to much to me

A-||| G|||

E-||| F|| G

A-||| G|||

E-||| F|| G

D-||| C|||

A-||| G|||

E-||| F|||

G7sus||| ||||

C||| C| G/B|

Bridge

A-
I can't leave you
I can't leave you
G

I can't leave you
I can't leave you

F C/E

I can't leave behind what I’m gonna need ahead
A-

I can't stand it
I can't stand it
G

I can't stand it
I can't stand it
F C/G

I can't stand against this world alone

F C/G

I can't stand against this world alone

F C/G

I can't stand against this world alone

Big Musical solo
A-||| G||| F||| C/E|||

A-/E||| G/D||| F/C||| C|||

A-||| G||| F||| C/E|||

A-/E||| G/D||| F/C||| C|||

A-||| G||| F||| C/E|||

A-/E||| G/D||| F/C||| C|||

A-/C||| G/B||| F/A||| C/G|||

A-||| G||| F||| F||| F||| C|||

Chorus again

A- G

Slit my throat, I will keep on breathing
E- F

Hold Death at bay by the power of my love for you
A- G

I don't care if I should leave

E- F G

and find someone new
D- C

I refuse to give up what we have,

A- G

I refuse to give up what we've had,

E- F G7sus

I refuse to give up what will be.
C

You mean to much to me

A-||| G|||

E-||| F|| G

A-||| G|||

E-||| F|| G

D-||| C|||

A-||| G|||

E-||| F|||

G7sus||| G7||| ritard

G7sus||| G7|||

Slow Hymn ending

F C G A
Oh God change my heart, if my will be not yours.
F C G A

I beg you not to make me leave
F C

You blessed me with brothers
G A

don't take them from me
F C G A

Leave them here with me forever
F G A

For I can't bear for us to part ways

F G Csus C

For I can't bear for us to part ways_______________________

Long Day

Really long hard day. Recently I went shopping for my dorm room. It was surreal, like a different person. Then I spent a last night with the fearsome fivesome, the air band, or whatever you want to call us. We were all so sad, but had a great time. John got us all toweleries with our names on them, Nick got us really nice framed pictures of those four doing the air band, and everyone got a T-shirt with "THE AIR BAND" on the front in a cool font, and something on the back. Mine says "Will you do the Fandango?"

I don't want to leave them, yet Joe left yesterday, and I leave Friday. I will leave them, and move on, but screw it, I don't want to. I don't care if it's normal or common for people to leave thier friends and grow apart from them, then never be really close again. I have never been normal and do not intend to start anytime soon. I can buck the trend. If I think it is inevitable it will be, but if I know I can stay close to them and they know they can stay close to me through and after college, we can do it.
I have decided that females pass through a stage in thier life around the end of junior year. They start to become more secure in who they are, and it shines through thier natural beauty, which isn't in neutral or reverse itself, to make them incredibly beautiful and amazing people. I REALLY wish I would have discovered this about a year ago. I will have to write sometime about how I see beauty in the world, whenever I talk about it I end up poetic and using some wonderful imagery.
Rough draft of a new song. yay.

Slow mournful verse
They say I must part ways
To leave everyone behind
Start new and better days
move on with my life
meet new people
But I can't leave you

Chorus, emphatic major chord stuff
Slit my throat, I will keep on breathing
Hold Death at bay by the power of my love for you
I don't care if I must leave and find someone new
I refuse to give up what we have, what we've had, what will be.
You mean to much to me

Instrumental Solo over Chorus changes
Write another verse, continue soloing in background
Chorus again




Bridge, driving
I can't leave you
I can't leave you
I can't leave you
I can't leave you
I can't leave behind what I need ahead
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand against the wind of change alone

Big Musical solo

Chorus again
Ritard into
Slow Hymn ending
Oh God change my heart, if my will be not yours.
I beg you not to make me leave
You blessed me with comrades
don't make them leave me
I could keep them close forever
But I can't bear for us to part ways

Coldplay

Last night, I had the pleasure of going to the Coldplay concert in Cincinnati. It was amazing. I went with my best friends Nick, Joe, and Raymond. Nick had his dad and a friend from St. Louis come along, and Joe brought his girlfriend Laura. We met up with two girls Nick knew (I swear Nick knows girls everywhere he goes) so we had a full crew in the second row of blankets in the grass. Coldplay did every song you could want them to, did them all fabulously, and we in the audience loved it. We swayed together in some songs, jumped in others, clapped, and screamed gratuitously. I would highly reccomend the CDs and concerts to anyone who likes good music. Which is every reader (peer pressure to admit you like good music because if you don't, you like bad music and therefore are not cool, it's an old trick but it works). I got a contact high at the concert (who knew you could experience a feeling of extacy from a light show? It tipped me off that perhaps the pot smokers were blowing in my direction), had a wonderful time, and just had some great times with my best friends.

I am going to miss them so much. With my family, I have been maturing and preparing to leave the house for a while, and I know I will see them all every time I come home or they visit. With my friends, I am scared that we may drift apart. I think it would be appropriate here to do a lyric. This may have replaced "Time Is Running Out" by Muse as the theme for the end of the summer.

"Talk"

Oh BROTHER I can't, I can't get through
I've been trying hard to reach you, cause I don't know what to do
Oh brother I can't believe it's true
I'm so s c a r e d about the future and I wanna talk to you
Oh I wanna talk to you
You can take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me

So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or a write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done
Do something that's never been done

So you don't know were you're going, and you wanna talk
And you feel like you're going where you've been before
You tell anyone who'll listen but you feel i g n o r e d
Nothing's really making any sense at all
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk


That song makes me anxious every time I hear it. I always seem to think of Nick, Joe, and Ray. Especially Nick. I feel like we are brothers, and I wish we knew eachother that well. We are getting closer every day but for what? We are all going our seperate ways. I see these guys as comrades. If I ever have a hard decision to make, I ask them for advice. Ray understands girls better than girls. Joe has his cautious wisdom and insight that keeps me calm and rational when I get a bit upset and rash. Nick can jam a song about how you are feeling. I am so blessed to have them as friends and fit in as well as I do. If I ever make it big, get in big trouble, or need support, those guys are who I want by my side helping me and if they ever need anything, I am there for them. I hope to meet more people like that in my life.

Double Club

Yesterday off of the boards I did a one and a half. Today, while showing it to some friends, one commented that I easily have the height for a double. So I did it. If this pattern continues, I will be doing a 3 1/2 off the 1 meter by Sunday. My back was put through murder for it though, it is very easy to under rotate or over rotate, if you underrotate it is basically a back-flop. If you over rotate, you get the unique migranish sensation of water rushing up your eye sockets while the water punches you in the adam's apple. It's a good thing there were pretty girls at the pool that I wanted to impress or I might have cried once or twice, but I am glad pain seems to bother me less now.

Have you ever felt invincible? It is a weird feeling. I felt it today after the double. I was so psyched up and ready to do anything, I honestly felt like I could do anything I tried. Pain didn't affect me, I felt on top of the world and ready to take it on single handedly. A dangerous feeling, I think it could be useful if tempered with some common sense. Now I know why so many guys between 17 and 25 kill themselves doing stunts. I felt like I could fly if I put my mind to it.

I am obsessed with the X&Y CD by Coldplay. Everyone listen to it at least three times. It really grows on you. I tabbed White Shadows (track 3) last night because no one on the internet has it right yet. Pretty neat as a solo piano piece.

The lyrics today are for Elizabeth, because she says nice things to me and Xanga text editing screwed me when I put this as a comment. I wrote it for her when she asked me to.

Symphony for my Heartstrings

Bm7 Em

Where have you gone

Am7 D7 Gsus G

Why must I spend any time away from you

Bm7 Em

Gone are your arms

Am7 D7 GM7

Gone are the caring eyes so blue

GM7

I long for

CM7 GM7

The comforting caress you so graciously bestow

GM7

I sing for

CM7 GM7

The ravishing beauty whom my heart has stole

Bo/ E

Your hair so silken

Am7 D7

Your face so lovely

GM7 CM7 Co G

You were sculpted by the Master from the finest marble

Em Am

Your beauty so overwhelming

D7 D7+5 GM7

Only overshadowed by your soul so divine

C7 C#o D7 +5 GM7

That I live for the angel who has made herself mine

Bm7 Em

Where have you gone

Am7 D7 Gsus G

Why must I spend any time away from you

Bm7 Em

Gone are your arms

Am7 D7 GM7

Gone are your caring eyes so blue

GM7

I am here

CM7 GM7

You are back in your sylvan garden

GM7

I am gone

CM7 GM7

I am far away and wondering when

Bo/ E

I will see you again

Am7 D7

I will touch your skin

GM7 CM7 Co G

And we can dance in the grey moonlight

Em Am7

Pledge my love all throughout the night

D7 D7+5 GM7

I could never leave you, comfort yourself with

C7 C#o D7 +5 GM7

My love forever, My Darling Elizabeth

Em D

I live in the hours we are apart

C G

To die in the moments we have together

Em D

Babe can’t you see

C

You own me

Am D

And I wouldn’t have it any other way

Am D

No, no other way.

Bm7 Em

Where have you gone

Am7 D7 Gsus G

Why must I spend any time away from you

Bm7 Em

Gone are your arms

Am7 D7+5 GM7

Gone are your caring eyes so blue

Il n'etait pas

Three weeks and change until Hope. Today Nick, Ray, Joe (well, Joe's girlfriend, which is becoming more and more the same thing as time goes by) and I had a conversation about how weird it is going to be, and how scared we are, but excited at the same time.

I am going to miss some people. I can count about 10 off the top of my head. Long weekends will be spent catching up with them, and phone calls will become commonplace methinks. Hopefully everyone will be on Verison....

A few notable occurances recently, I have begun to trudge through Rhapsody in Blue, and today I pulled off the 1 1/2 off the boards. I am ready to begin work on the 2.

Because it is customary, I shall place some lyrics in here.

When I was a young boy I tried to listen
And I wanna feel like that
Little white shadows, blink and miss them
Part of a system I am

If you ever feel like something's missing?
Things you'll never understand
Little white shadows, sparkle and glisten
Part of a system plan

When all our fears are waking up
All the space I'm taking up
I said I cannot hear you, you're breaking up

Ohhhh...

Maybe you get what you wanted
Maybe you stumbled upon it
Everything you ever wanted
In a permanent state

Maybe you'll know when you see it
Maybe if you say it, you'll mean it
And when you find it, you keep it
In a permanent state
A permanent state

When I was a young boy
I tried to listen
I don't think I'll ever feel like that

We're part of the human race and
All of the stars and the outer space
We're part of the system plan

When all our fears are waking up
And all the space, I'm taking up
I said I cannot hear you, you're breaking up

Maybe you get what you wanted
Maybe you stumbled upon it
Everything you ever wanted
In a permanent state

Maybe you'll know when you see it
Maybe if you say it, you'll mean it
When you find that you keep it
In a permanent state
A permanent state

Swim out on a sea of faces,
The tide of the human races,
An answer now is all I need.

See it in a new sun rising
See it breaking on your horizon
Oh, come on love, stay with me...

Coldplay- White Shadows

Today

Que sera sera