Heck no

four papers due, one in english.
6 sections of Physics hw due.
A shakespere play to attend.
housing and class registration forms to fill out.
10 or so graduation parties to attend.
THEN I get to take exams!

Ask me LATER how graduation, my party, and school and such was, my week sucks.

The Blog is Updated

Since the last post, much has happened. My life is so action packed, I cant believe it has only been a week. I know it is nice to have much to do and your life move slowly, but school needs to be out now.
Wednesday was the seniors last day at the high school. Not mine, I didn't even show up. I went to school and had a horrible day of it. There is something about showing up to an easy class and taking a horrifically easy test that you cannot do because you dont know a certain theorem the prof mentioned in passing the one day you weren't there. THEN! the last day teaching swim lessons in for a while. Don't get me wrong, I like to teach the kids to swim, but when you are already kind of stressed out from school and social tension and no sleep it is all you can do to not STRANGLE them when they won't shut up. I can't wait to teach people with more maturity a subject that I care more deeply about. Luckily I get to start tutoring in physics next year.


Also wednesday, I bought 54$ worth of music. Best of Led Zepplin, Best of Hendrix, Genesis Foxtrot, Dark Side of the Moon. Good times. After work, I fixed my bosses comp (DO NOT let little kids online, the viruses they can get are amazingly bad), took a shower so I smelled all pretty and not like Cl2, and headed off towards what I thought was a wonderful movie theater. However, I learned that the armrests do NOT go completely back and hit your head if you try, and the seats in the third row make it hard to see the whole screen. Star Wars was great. I thought the wookies and R2D2 were a bit forced, and Anakin could have had some more exposition, and the end was 18 years before the origonal trilogy yet it seemed like 2 years. It was good though, and I had fun. I saw it with Felicia and it was fun to hang out with her again. I am so glad I have cool freinds, all different, but all special and wonderful in their own little ways. Speaking of special people, Nick wrote a song for the seniors last chapel day at CHCA. I was lucky enough to sort of help inspire him on some of the lyrics, and when he previewed it to the head chapel man, they rearranged the entire program to put that song last. I was also cool enough to get a sneak preview of it before the general public wednesday night. Unfortunately, I was not in the general public earlier today, so I haven't seen the whole thing.
On a personal note, I have been doing a lot of thinking about myself, how I interact with people, and my emotions. I decided that I should savor each emotion that crosses my path because they can come in some amazing flavors and the diversity is beautiful. That being said, one of my most favorite emotions so far in life is that of a childish crush. It is so nonsensical and euphoric and I love every second of it. When the mere thought of someone sends your senses exploding into excitement, it is hard to beat. I now consider my interactions with people like a cube with different faces. One face is for the different ways you can know me. One for my good freinds, one for God, one for a girlfreind, one for acquantances. The one with freinds interfaces well with most other people if I show it to them. It accepts any rough edges their cubes may have and allows for good deep real conversations. I think it leaves me quite open and vunerable, but I hope that never becomes an issue, my freinds are too cool for that. Then there is the side for the girlfreind. It seems to me that this particular side is very demanding. Not that I have unnecassarily high standards (to quote Lennon again, "Do you neeeeeed anybody? I need somebody to love. Could it beeeeeeee anybody? I want somebody to love.") I just want somebody who I can love and who can love me in return. Is that too much to ask? I used to make lists of attributes I wanted in a person. It doesn't matter. The brain doesn't completely control the heart. I envy people like Nick who can feel love so easily and often (although too often can be bad as well), whereas I cannot remember what love feels like if I ever felt it at all. I don't feel like love isn't meant for me, I feel like I am such a hard fit that very few people can come close unless they are the one I am made specially for. It is kind of frusterating at times.




In other news, I feel like the lone defender of the English language on the internet at times. It is absolutely dreadful what some of these people do to syntax and grammar. Read high school Xangas and AIM conversations if you do not believe me.

Anyways. Hope you all have a good weekend. I will be preparing for my Graduation party. I think that everyone who could find this blog between now and sunday is already invited, so that works. I need to go and die now, sleep doesn't happen, it runs.

I have fun with Photo editing software

I am proud of all of that editing on the photo's I did, especially on the Black and White. If anyone has any pictures of any prom or really anything that would interest me, Email them to me.

Google has a great piece of software called Picasa2 that allows you to do amazing things with pictures. I got rid of all of the red-eye, sharpened the pics and everything. Then there is this nice add on called Hello which allows you to share or post the pictures. I highly reccommend everyone download it if you use digital photos.

Today was decent, I had a hard French test, matrix is still cake, phyics was actually nice and easy considering we were doing partial differential equations for 4 variables. I had an awards banquet where I was recognized for a bit but didn't get any money, which was disappointing. I did get to see all my freinds, which was nice.

Out front waiting for the last picture so we can leave 

The Promenade 

The four of us 

Kayleigh and Derek Sepia 

Kayleigh and Derek, Black and White 

Joy 

Joe and Derek 

All of us in Laura's Family Room 

Kayleigh, Derek, Laura, and Joe 

Kayleigh and Derek 

The Last Prom of Senior Year

Ode to sleep:


I long for thee, the times that we are apart I feel empty inside, as if I were a zombie walking in a shadow world until I am once again in your loving embrace.


I am recovering from CHCA's prom. It was fabulous. As I stated in the last prom, I did not know the girl I was going with until I talked to her on the phone on tuesday, and I met her in person for the first time saturday when I picked her up. Her name is Kayleigh and she is a very cool person. I met her, met her family, had the first set of pictures taken, then drove her to Laura's house. There we met Joe and Laura, and all four sets of parents took a second set of pictures. This took a very long time. I do not like pictures, but parents make it worse. They are always telling you what to do, especially on the smile. "Oh come on, smile bigger! No! Not that big! Thats just fake, do a real smile! No, that one looks dumb. I don't care if its your real smile, smile pretty!"

Laura wanted to take a walk. Joe and I were going to do whatever the girls wanted to do, and Kayleigh caved. So there we were, two couples in suits and dresses walking down the street. The dresses were not just dresses either, these were gigantic things. I was tripping over Kayleigh's all night long, and Laura's was just as bad. So the girls were holding their skirts up as we walked down the street with all of the neighbors staring out of their windows at us. Joe played it cool and did the parade wave. The parents thought we were dumb when we got back, but took a third set of pictures, this one thankfully short. We put all of our stuff in Joe's car and left for prom.

Joe was driving a nice car. Mercedes. It has wonderful acceleration, can go quite fast, and takes turns really well. Not that we would know, but I can say it defintely was faster than the Corvette Raymond was driving. The girls looked stunning. I hope to one day get pictures from all three proms and post them. Kayleigh was in a cream (not white) strapless dress that looked like a maid of honor thing while Joe and Laura had a matching white and red strapless dress and tux going. Pretty much everyone looked great, and I got to wear Joe's pink tie again, which made me happy.

At prom we ate some decent food (rice AND lasagna? two carbs at once? who planned this meal?) with the coolest table of all time. Joe Nick John Raymond and Derek with their dates Laura Adrienne Emily Becca and Kayleigh. Conversation was witty and entertaining, Adrienne seuxally harassed me, so everything was very relaxed and normal. We then hit the dancing. Nick made up a dance that we joined in and everyone laughed with us (because we were laughing at us). Good times, tried my best not to embarrass Kayleigh with my dancing or step on her dress and failed at both. We finally learned how to pretzel at the very end of the last swing song. Just to point out, Joe and Laura are a very cute couple, perhaps the cutest I have ever seen.

We went to Joe's, broke out the Red Bull on the ride back. We changed and headed out to Afterprom. Nick Ray John and I signed up for Kareoke and then went to play foosball and euchre. Laura is really bad at euchre. At kareoke, I have to thank Brittanny for singing that duet, it was "unforgettable" . It was incredibly relaxed.

After that, we headed over to IHOP for breakfast. I had fun getting hit in the face with wet straw wrappers, then putting everything I could find in her drink, then drinking it. Grey (this girl I met there) scared me a bit when she and Nick started talking. THe pancakes were good, but something made me go absolutely NUTS in the car on the way to dop Kayleigh off. I blamed it on the IHOP people lacing my pancakes with speed, but now I think it might be that I had a lot more of the Laura's Water than everyone else. I think I may have created a new drug by mixing sweet and low with table salt and pepper. Codine is my favorite drug FYI. Laura wouldn't stop laughing the whole way back, and I was so hyper I couldn't stay still. The sun came up as we dropped Laura off, I picked up my stuff at Joe's, and went home. I was in bed by 7am.

Kayleigh, thank you so much for a wonderful night, you were an awsome blind date.
The Guys, thanks for setting it up so I could come and hang out, it was a blast.
Sleep, thank you for being there for me in times of hardship.

French test tomorrow, got to go study

My Prom, My Test, My Day

My prom was decent. Not quite as fun as Springboros, but still fun. We ate some decent food, danced on a pathetic stage (Caleb and I are AWSOME dancers, our white antics made all of the girls faces flush with amazement, my sister was laughing for joy and pointing me out to all of her freinds.) I sat at the table that won over half of the senior superlatives. And Prom king and queen. I had a fun time getting lost on the way there. At afterprom, most everyone was too tired to do anything. Except for yours truly, who went swimming(running across the top of the water, flips off of the diving board, and beating everyone who is a "non-swimmer" in sharks and minnows), did competative word searches, twister, and won 250$ in a raffle.

Yesterday was a physics test. It was supposed to be the easiest one, however, something went wrong. A problem none of us were expecting showed up. the first 2.5 questions were easy, and I solved them quickly, but that one was weird. It referenced something he mentioned in lecture once, and then only breifly. I figured it out, but it left my mind racing about standing waves and frequencies. The next problem was supposed to be simple. However, when you cannot disengage your mind from thinking one way to think another way (and don't even realize that it is happening or wrong), and you KNOW you are forgetting some elementary step but cannot recall it in two hours, something has gone very bad. I made up a paragraph that looked intelligent on both parts. Bad test, drove very fast on the way home, when I got home I ran around the block (over a mile). I then moved beds for my grandparent's arrival tomorrow. I then sat down at the piano and played for well over an hour. I then got my sisters guitar out and played for a few more. I finally crashed and went to bed. I really didn't like that test.


You know how I was saying that I had been invited to 9 proms? That is not exactly true. Let me tell a story of what happened today.

I was sitting in lab at 5, when I get a call. It is Nick's Mom. She asks me for my parents phone number. I give it and ask why. She says it is so Kayleigh's parents can call mine. I was confused, so she reassures me that she gave them a glowing report of me and they just wanted to check with my parents before I took their daughter to prom. I asked her who Kayleigh was. I honestly didn't know. She went outside to ask Nick if she had the right Derek. He said yes, and that he would call me later.

So an hour later he calls. Kaleigh is Joe's girlfreinds best freind. Evidentally she and I were going to prom together, this weekend. I informed him that I had never heard of her before, and did not know I was going to thier prom. Then Raymond calls me. I chew him out for a while, "When were you going to tell me I was going to your prom? the day of?" He asks me what I am doing saturday, and that I am going to his prom on saturday with Kayleigh. I know the last part wasn't a question, thats how he asked it though. It seems they all decided I was going to their prom two weeks ago, and I was going with Kayleigh because she didn't have a date and I needed a way to come (senior prom, good excuse to hang out because we never see eachother). The just forgot to tell me during those two weeks.

So of course I am going. Any excuse to go to CHCAs prom and hang out with my circle of freinds of whom I see too little of is good with me, and after knowing her from three or four telephone conversations in the last 4 hours, she is pretty cool (although I knew that beforehand because she hangs out with the four guys, and if they think we would have a good time, I trust them.) We are going as, well, not exactly friends because I have never met her, but not as a blind date because we are just going to hang out with our friends (if she didn't have a date she wasnt going). So it looks like this one will be great.

My other excuse for going is that when you get invited to proms numbering in the double digits, you just laugh, throw your hands up, and say "whatever."

Number of proms I have been invited to: 10
Number of proms I am going to: 3



I find this whole situation very amusing (I am laughing as I write this), and I am sure it will all turn out wonderfully. Thanks Ray, John, Joe, Nick, and Kayleigh for the opportunity to hang out at your prom. But don't think for a second that I am going to EVER let you forget about this one.

Idyllic Lyceum

As I awaken to a fresh breeze coming my window, I hear the sounds of morning. Nick either has not gone to sleep yet or he has awoken early and is already making music at the keyboard downstairs. His style is lyrical, and he is once again using the waves of the ocean as his rhythm. The songbirds in the courtyard start their own song, and Nick modulates up a third to accomodate their tune. I lay in my bed for a while, feeling the cotton of my shirt and the sheet on top of me, the canvas of the hammock beneath me, and I sway back and forth like this for seven minutes, thanking God for life, freinds, and the ocean.


When I do decide to awaken, I slip out of bed and into my jeans and Bohemian existance. I make my way down the hallway where my compatriots in enlightenment rest and down the steps to the lower level. In the kitchen, I start a kettle boiling and stare out of the window at the rising sun. The kettle whistles, so I take it off of the heat and pour seven cups. In two I put a bag of spearmint tea, in two lemon, and in the other three I put raspberry. I take a spearmint and a lemon to the next room, the conservatory. Nick continues to play as I set his cup down on the Steinway. I sit in the chair by the interior window, sip my tea, listen to the music, and watch the courtyard. The birds break their fast at our feeder or clean themselves in the bath. The fountain trickles its water down its many paths. It is early May, and the morning glories that have clumb up the far wall are opening to the sun as its rays creep down to the second floor windows. Nicks song ceases comping for nature and begins a slow, sad tune. After he has developed the song enough, I begin to sing a melody.


The sea may beat
For a thousand years
Crashing endlessly against our house on the cliff
But stay your fears
Our love needs no walls to survive.


The wind may blow
A cold cold chill
Over us and through us
But it never will
Cool the fire of our passion for eachother


I love you beyond time
I love you beyond space
I love you beyond the here and now,
the place and time
the hour of day
We have an extra dimentional love


Nick laughs his signature laugh. We stayed up half the night talking around the fire about the higher dimentions with two others. One of those walks in now, still giggling his Joe-early-morning-and-still-giddy giggle. He brings food, some scones from yesterday morning, and we stop the music to grab a few. Nick vacates the piano for me, and I begin my classically inspired peice after three bites. They listen as the arpeggios drift off into open chords, the high singing melody over minimalist voicings, and I add some new frills as I feel them. After I finish, I eat while they describe their thoughts on the piece. Nick says I need to add a verse where I arpeggiate under the melody to bring the two parts together, then go into the finale. Joe thinks I am focusing too much on the technical aspects and less on the feeling I wish to convey. I thank God for this moment.


The Girl walks in. She is the one to whom I belong, to whom I am engaged. We kiss good morning and she sits by the window I left. She adores the flowers in the pale early morning sunlight. Joe picks up an acoustic bass and bow, Nick kicks me off of the piano, and I take up my guitar. Joe bows a beautiful bassline, 1 5 1 -2 6 -3 -3. It hangs in the air, unresolved, at the end, before he repeats it. Nick adds some structure and syncopation to the chords, and I add some pretty extentions. Caleb and his girl have made their way down, he sits behind the bongos and lays down a pattern while she readies her flute. We continue like this until Nick takes a solo. He does very well, and we revel in his melody as we plumb the depths of the harmony. The Girl has sings a wordless tune next, she lets her voice drift over the scale. I love everything about her, but her voice is so sexy, it overshadows the other things at times like this. Joe's Girl comes in and gives him a peck on the cheek as she sits down and pulls out her violin. She takes the next solo, adding much vibrato and feeling to her notes. The rest of the morning continues in this fashion, everyone switching instruments as they please. We can all play more than one, we have been doing this for long enough, thankfully God gave us all much talent.


As the sun approaches its zenith, Joe and his girl announce that they wish to break for lunch. Caleb and I take out to jog the island for twenty one minutes while they prepare it. The physical exercise keeps me fresh, and I can use this time to clear my head. The lunch is a salad with fruit, open face sandwiches, and a glass of strawberry wine each. After lunch, Nick retires to sleep his siesta, and I go out with caleb once more. He and I work out together. We jog for a while, swim for some more, do some pushups and situps in between, and then, when we have warmed up, practice our martial arts. The Girls are doing Yoga, so after drills and sparring, we join them to cool down. We have an hour until dinner, so I grab a banana and hit a chair on the cliff. My Girl lies there with me, I put my arm around her. She tells me she loves me and is going to take a nap, I tell her I love her and will wake her when dinner is ready. With my other hand I hold my book, a textbook on solid state physics. I read the theories for a while as she falls asleep, safe in my arms. Thank God for her and these moments.


After I understand the theory, I begin to work out some of the problems, but soon degenerate into creating ideas about what other interesting branches this knowledge may lead to. I make plans to experiment on it when I get back, if I get back. I do not want to leave, it is paradise here with these people. I read further into the book and learn something that astounds me. Thank God for his intricate creation, it blows my mind how amazing and wonderful this world and the laws the govern it are.


I wake her with a kiss as I smell the fish that I see Joe taking off of the grill. Tomorrow it will be my day to cook, and I have three great meals planned. Today Joe has his famous Mango Jerk Mahi Mahi, and his girl is serving it with a white wine. Joe says grace, and we all tell how thankful we are to be here, with good freinds. We eat the wonderful meal, and look forward to a long night. I have some more studying to do, and Nick has taken a recent interest in physics. He can handle it, but he is so talented he can do almost anything and his attention span dictates that he do it all. Perhaps we will play more music, perhaps my eyes will get tired and I shall run to the other side of the island with My Girl and make obeservations of the stars. There are no electric lights out here but ours, and we keep them off at all times unless we are reading at night. The Medditaranian sky is perfectly clear and the stars sparkle like they did for the kings of old. I think that is what I shall do. I will come back tomorrow to make breakfast omlettes for us seven, but the night will be spent on the dew tipped grass.


Later that night, I pray.


Thank you God, for heaven. I cannot think of a single thing I want at the moment, it is perfect. Yet I know you have a place prepared for me more magnificent by far. Please continue to watch over us, and giving us daily what we need. I love you, and thank you for loving me, The Girl, Joe, Joe's Girl, Nick, Caleb, Caleb's Girl, our families, everyone we know, and everyone we don't know more than we can imagine. I live for your love, oh God. Keep me.

What makes me tick?

I have found that I work best when I have some basic needs met. These are

Mental stimulation (not hard to get)
Relaxation (hard to get without getting yelled at or taking WAY too much)
Playing piano (hard to get because of an overdose of the first two)
Working out (same as above)
Sleep (you have got to be kidding, right?)
Social interaction (I have been doing alright here)
Spiritual Nourishment (hard to remember to read the Bible every day)

So if I balance all of these correctly, I seem to have higher productivity levels and I actually get things done. Right now I do not, and all of them suffer.

Oh my. Prom this weekend, then TONS of school. God, help? please? I need it.

Sick Day, Afterprom1, and the Mummy Returns is on TV

E-mail from Mike got me to thinking. He was talking about his girlfreind Mary (really cool kids) and I now know I am looking for the one girl who is worth more than #2-#100 combined.

This past weekend was draining, but fun. I went to Springboro's prom with Jessica, we hung around Brittany and Clark the whole time. He is fairly cool for a sophmore, but he fights like a girl. At the battle arena at afterprom (think oversized stuffed q tips from american gladiator. With the helmets.) he got beaten handily by Brit and only landed a glancing blow on me. I got a 600% return in Texas Hold 'Em.

Well, for future reference, if you have to leave your house at 2:30 for a prom that starts at 8, something is wrong. Pictures are wrong. Downtown Dayton is wrong. Druggies are cool.
Prom was fun, music was not great, but whatever. THEY DIDN'T PLAY COTTON EYE JOE! Also, too few slow songs, and I REALLY need to learn to swing dance.
After prom was also fun, skinned a few things on that obstacle course.
Afterparty was fun. I met this really cool couple Brian and Lindsey, although they were making out a bit too close to me... After we got kicked off of Silence of the Lambs, we went downstairs to a MUCH more uncomfortable position (really bad pillows and hard floor, cold and thin blankets). We watched Office Space.

I am now sick, most likely due to the lack of sleep. I have MY prom this weekend, got the corsage today (24$ for a couple flowers on a wristband? Next time I will make one at home...). I stayed home from school today because of it, but I got more sleep, got some hw done, talked to people.

Shout outs: Joe, for the tie
Kim, this weekend will rock
Sonya and Craig, afterparty at your place?
Jess, for an invite to a cool prom and an excuse to wear aforementioned tie
Brit and Clark and Brian and Lindsey and Alexis, for adding coolness to the aforementioned prom.
Felicia, for tickets to Star Wars
Anyone who actually reads my other blog, for the time you spent, I know it is a lot.